What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say – Ch. 25

Image: Unsplash/Daniel Ruyter

Mar 25, 2021

These blog posts titled "What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say" are a collection of random tips to give you strength and assurance as you try to get pregnant.  I hope they help!

With appreciation for inviting me on your journey,


Use this Mantra when TTC

I wanted to share a mantra that I came across while reading the book “The Big Leap: Conquering Your Hidden Fears” by Gay Harding.

“I expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.”

I love this one because it’s broad enough that you can believe it. It also gives a lot of room for interpretation as to what that may mean for someone. It’s certainly applicable on your fertility journey. You can take it to mean literally expand in love - which means getting bigger when you’re pregnant.

Mantras are powerful tools to open your mind to the infinite wonderful manifestations that the universe is always trying to deliver to you.

To use a mantra as a meditation, this is what Gay Harding recommends...

  • Find a place where you can sit quietly for 5-10 minutes.
  • Whisper the mantra softly to yourself.
  • Pause and rest with an open mind for 10-15 seconds.
  • Whisper the mantra again.
  • Pause and rest with an open mind for 10-15 seconds.
  • Continue those 2 steps for 5-10 minutes.
  • When you feel you’re at a good stopping place, pause and rest for a minute or two before getting up.

Feeling Negative while TTC?  Try this?

I’ve been sharing a clearing technique with my clients and thought I would also share a brief version of it with you here.

It’s a good tool to help you clear physical discomfort or pain. It’s also great for removing negative energy, emotions, or people from your head or body.

It’s best if you can be undisturbed while doing this. Sit in a chair and take a moment to settle in. If you’re able to, close your eyes. Take a few deep, slow breaths in.

Imagine a cord attaching at one end to your tailbone, at the base of your spine. The cord can be anything - a rope, usb cord, electrical cord, tree trunk, vine. It’s your cord so make it your own.

Picture it growing longer and longer through the layers of your chair, longer and longer into the earth. It grows so long that it finally connects to the center of the planet. When it does that, you may feel an energetic shift. Take a minute to feel what it’s like to have your energy connect to the planet.

Then when you’re ready, see a switch in your mind’s eye and flip it on. Now the cord can clear anything that you want to release into the planet where it can be recycled to something new.

Feel what it’s like to consciously release that energy that you don’t want. Hopefully you’ll feel more relaxed and lighter. When you’re done, you can turn the switch off in your mind’s eye and destroy the cord.

You can do this whenever you want to release negative energy. It can be as simple as that quick visualization.

"I want to have a baby but I'm (insert your age)."

"I want to have a baby but I'm (insert your age)."

If this is something that you say to yourself and others often, here are some things to consider.

  1. Say "I want to have a baby." and end your sentence there. You don't need to keep reinforcing that you feel the time pressure.
  2. If you need to say your age, replace the "but" with "and" or a period (see #1). The "but" shows that you don't think your desire is possible. Remember, you don't get what you want. You get what you expect.
  3. Take ownership of your age. Stress and conflict are caused because you're not accepting that you're in your late 30s or 40s and want to have a child. Plenty of women in their 40s have health babies - you just don't hear about them because you're probably focused more on who it's not working for.
  4. The ability to get pregnant at a certain age is a perception, influenced by what others tell you or what you read online. It's different for every person when they will hit menopause. Until then, assume that you can get pregnant. You can choose to think of yourself as fertile or running against time.

The main takeaway is to stop automatically linking your age with your ability to have a healthy baby. Every time you do that, you reinforce how difficult you perceive it to be.

In fact, delete the word "but" out of your vocabulary entirely. That's my challenge to you. In doing so, you'll remove a lot of the mental obstacles you put involuntarily on your path with that simple action. If that seems difficult to you, that's an indication of how much that little word has gotten in your way.