What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say – Ch. 23

Image: Unsplash/Merakist

Mar 11, 2021

These blog posts titled "What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say" are a collection of random tips to give you strength and assurance as you try to get pregnant.  I hope they help!

With appreciation for inviting me on your journey,


You Get What You Expect

Your body’s natural desire is to be healthy and in balance.

For most of us, when we’re born, we’re perfectly healthy - full of energy and vibrant with life. As we get older, more health issues crop up for a number of reasons. It could be due to stress, overworking, lack of exercise, poor diet, not getting enough sleep, etc.

We often think about health problems happening TO us, as if a fertility issue is something that just comes out of nowhere.

Rather, I think of having difficulty getting pregnant is more often a result of you blocking off health and well-being.

In your case, the block may come from believing that your age or your diagnosis or your past history is preventing you from getting pregnant. Think about this though... if your belief and expectation is that it won’t work, then guess what? It won’t work. That makes sense, right?

But how do you change that habitual thought pattern so that you can expect something different?

First and foremost, you must surround yourself with people and information that supports your vision. That means choosing doctors and other healthcare providers like acupuncturists and nutritionists who believe in you and aren’t just giving you treatments because you’re paying them. You may need to fire them and find someone else.

Second, think beyond your physical body. Everyone gets caught up in the eggs, ovaries, and uterus but having a healthy baby is much more than that. You can learn to become so present that you attract that one perfect egg even with a diagnosis of poor egg quality or diminished ovarian reserve and that one perfect sperm even with sperm quality issues to create your healthy baby. And that requires controlling your thoughts and emotions and focusing them to what you want which is having a healthy baby, not what you fear which is that you won’t be able to get pregnant. That can be done with practice.

Getting into 5D to Manifest Your Baby

We have different states of consciousness.

Most of us live in the 3D state where we use our five senses of touch, taste, sight, hearing, and smell to view things from a purely physical state. You are seen as an individual that is separate from others. The systems in your body, like the reproductive, digestive, respiratory, circulatory systems work independently of each other so your eggs, ovaries, and uterus are separate from the rest of your body. Your thoughts have no power over your reality and what comes your way in life is simply a coincidence.

My goal with clients is to guide them from the physical 3D to the energetic 5D state of consciousness where everything and everyone is connected. That means your eggs, ovaries, and uterus work in harmony with the rest of your body and the external environment as well. In the 5D, your thoughts create your reality and physical matter and, most importantly, anything is possible because linear time does not exist in 5D. This allows you to transcend your biological age and your diagnosis.

If you can control your thoughts, feelings, and thus your behavior, you can collapse energy into matter at will and manifest your baby. This then makes the statistics based on your age group irrelevant because it comes down to how much you can program your subconscious mind to direct your body to do what you want, instead of your body leading the mind which is the default setting for most people.

Reaching the 5D state starts with having a very clear vision of what you want. Many women focus on what they DON’T want which is, not being able to get pregnant. So their thoughts are consumed by their current condition of not being pregnant. And that’s very different from focusing on having a healthy baby and committing to that journey.

So be clear about what you want and affirm that every day, throughout the day.

How's social media treating you?

I have a love/hate relationship with social media.

I love it because it connects me with people I wouldn't otherwise meet.

The rest of it I really, really don't like.

What don't I like about social media? There are three reasons that not only apply to me but are relevant to you on your fertility journey...

It's noisy with chatter that's 100% irrelevant to you, as an unique individual. That noise is super distracting - pulling your focus away from your vision. How can you possibly focus on yourself when you're busy looking at other people's stories?

At least for me, it makes me feel inadequate, like I'm a dud because I don't look as good as these people or travel as much as them or have that perfect life or whatever. It's way too easy to compare myself to others on social media and come up short. Do you feel inadequate when you see other women with their babies or read about their success?

It prevents you from being present. Being present is the key to manifesting your dreams, including the healthy baby you want. The focus must turn inwards to who you are and what you want with no attention to what others are doing, how successful they are or are not. Because their success or failure has zero relevance to your situation.

Unless you feel uplifted from scrolling through your social media feeds, cut them off immediately.

Be very picky about what you expose yourself to.

You must surround yourself with people who will support you in your dreams and get you closer to them.

Essentially, you need to create a bubble of positivity around yourself so that you can stay focused on what's really important to you.