What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say – Ch. 13

Dec 1, 2020

These blog posts titled "What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say" are a collection of random tips to give you strength and assurance as you try to get pregnant.  I hope they help!

With appreciation for inviting me on your journey,


Reel in these fertility foods

I love seafood in every size, shape, and form.

As a kid, like most other kids, I detested it. I formed opinions about them even before I tasted them based on how they looked, smelled, and felt.

I think I started appreciating them when I could afford really good sushi and realized how each fish was unique in flavor and texture.

Chicken is chicken, no matter how it's prepared - it's very one dimensional in taste and texture, relying heavily on spices and sauces to make it appealing.

Fish, on the other hand, is a burst of heaven with the simplest preparation. Sashimi, ceviche, anyone? Yum!

Some of the best fertility foods are seafood. Specifically wild, fatty fish like salmon, mackerel, herring, anchovies - packed with anti-inflammatory omega-3 fatty acids.

Let's not leave out shellfish like oysters, clams, scallops, and mussels. Since they spend their lives in mineral-rich waters, their tiny bodies soak all that goodness up in concentrated, little gems - kinda like Pac Man's power pellets. 😉

Although not a substitute, seaweed also gets a big two thumbs up!

So expand your menu to include these fertility superfoods.

Make sure you're clear about this before doing anything else

The writer Anais Nin on how to unlock a bigger, fuller life: "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." (hat tip to author James Clear for this quote)

It's often said that courage is not the absence of fear but rather action in spite of it.

To gain more courage on your fertility journey, you must be clear on WHAT you want and WHY you want it. Notice, I didn't say how or when!

The "why" must come from within yourself and not from external pressures of societal, parental, or in-law expectations.

I find many women are surprisingly ambivalent about their desire to have a child, even as they spend thousands of dollars on fertility treatments.

That uncertainty most assuredly contributes to not getting pregnant. A baby wants to be welcomed into a family. It has chosen you and in return you have to choose it with rock-steady certainty.

The decision to commit one way or the other requires courage to reflect on what you really want and are ready for. Take this critical first step before doing anything else.

Be who you want to be, not as who you have been

Singer Halsey changed her name to give herself an "opportunity to create a new persona" that could take her to "paranormal, supernatural heights."

At 26 years of age, she has done just that as a Grammy Award-nominated multi-platinum singer/songwriter with multiple awards under her belt.

Just as Halsey did, give yourself the permission to create an identity that supports where you want to go.

Whatever you think is preventing you from being the mother you want to be, discard that old identity, like a snake shedding skin it has outgrown and build a new one that aligns with who you want to be. Believe in how healthy you and your eggs are and how they can support a healthy baby.

Only in breaking out of the self-imposed limitations you've inadvertently donned, can you manifest your dream.

What to do about your supplements during the 2 week wait

A reader asked "I'm taking all these supplements for egg health, but during the two week wait each month, I don't know if I should continue the supplements or stop, because this could be the month?! I want to keep my eggs healthy as possible?!?!" 

My recommendation is to continue supplements until you have confirmation of a positive pregnancy test.  Typically, I advise my personal clients (women and men) to maintain their supplement regimen until the end of the first trimester when they have passed the most delicate part of a pregnancy.

Supplements aimed at improving egg quality are often antioxidants that help with preventing or correcting DNA damage.  You need these benefits as the cells of the embryo divides exponentially.