A reader submitted this question: “I am 47 and my husband is 56.  Is it possible for us to have a baby?”

If you’ve followed me for awhile now, you probably already guessed my answer.

Yes, it’s possible to have a baby at those ages.  It has happened to other couples.

What stops you is not your age but whether or not you believe in it strongly enough to overcome what society and doctors tell you, which is that it’s impossible.

Because your doubt overshadows your desire, you do so many things to sabotage yourself on your fertility journey…you constantly defend your inability to get pregnant because of what your doctors told you or what you know about the statistics…you question yourself at every possible turn…you drive yourself crazy doing things that you have no desire to do…you come up with all sorts of excuses about why you can’t make the lifestyle changes to encourage a pregnancy (too busy is the most common).  None of which makes you happy.

Rather, when you’re in this situation, you need to focus on something else that is more soothing to you, that puts you at ease.  And that’s what people mean when they say “Relax and you’ll get pregnant.”.

Does hearing that make you want to take a knife to my throat? If so, I’ve just proven my point about how much angst you’re going through.

The more negative attention you focus on any subject, the more roadblocks you throw up in your way.  Those obstacles are as real as any physical barrier.

Because it’s so hard NOT to think about having a baby, you’ve got to do everything you can to distract yourself and reach for things that make you happy.  And that sure as hell doesn’t mean Dr. Googling fertility tricks and hacks until the crack of dawn because if they worked, fertility clinics wouldn’t be booming businesses.  Sorry, there are no shortcuts.

Instead, give your dog a belly rub, a walk on the beach, date (even better, sex) night with your partner, a hot bath, a hard workout, hang out with the girls and get a mani/pedi,…

You MUST find ways to vibrate at a higher frequency and stay there.  High frequency states of being are when you’re happy, joyful, at ease, or in the flow.  These are powerful states of being when you feel like the world is at your feet and you can do anything.  Basically, when you feel like this. 🙂

Low frequency states of frustration, doubt, anxiety, fear pinch you off from your innate power to create and manifest any desire you can dream of.

If you have difficulty achieving the high frequency states, you’ve got some internal work to do before you can get pregnant.  Happiness must come from within and looking for an external source of happiness such as a baby will make this journey a struggle and inevitably unsuccessful.

We’ve had a lot of rain in San Diego these past months.  The reward is all the flowers blooming on the hills as I drive on the Interstate 5.  I’ve never see them flourish so much!

Think of a baby as the bloom to your flower.  Only when you are sufficiently nourished physically and emotionally rooted can you get pregnant.  A baby in the early stages is merely an extension of you.  It is not yet its own entity, independent enough to survive on its own.  Rather, baby is 100% dependent on you and your resources.

If you can get to the point of (or already are) fully enjoying life and feel like the universe has your back, giving you warm hugs, keep up the great work!  Stay your course and have faith that the natural unfolding will bring in your baby when the time is right.